As moms, we all crave one thing: rest for ourselves and our babies. So when you hear about sleep training promising longer naps and peaceful nights, it’s tempting to try it.
If you’ve ever wondered why sleep training is bad (or at least controversial), you’re not alone. And you have every right to question it.
So, let’s go over the emotional and developmental worries that parents and experts often talk about. Especially when it comes to methods like Cry it Out (CIO).
This isn’t about fear-mongering. This is about feeling informed, supported, and empowered to make the best decision for your family.
The Emotional Side of Sleep Training
Some pediatric sleep training methods encourage parents to let their babies cry for a long time without comfort.
While this can lead to longer stretches of sleep, some experts worry about the emotional needs of infants during these moments.
Babies cry because they need comfort, connection, or reassurance. When their cries go unanswered consistently, it can hurt secure attachment later on.
Parents who practice attachment parenting argue that bonding at night is as important as bonding during the day.
Related Reading: Is Sleep Training Hurting Your Baby? What Every Mom Needs to Know
What About Stress Hormones?
One of the major concerns raised in the sleep training debate is cortisol levels in babies. It’s a stress hormone that can spike during prolonged crying.
Some studies show that a baby might stop crying, but their cortisol levels can stay high.
Research on sleep training’s long-term effects is still in progress. This leaves many parents worried that stress hormones could be affecting key stages of brain development.
What Pediatricians Say About Sleep Training
Most doctors agree that gentle sleep training can work well for healthy infants starting around 4 to 6 months.
They often encourage parents to build a consistent bedtime routine. The goal is to balance restful nights with enriched, engaged days. It also adopts an approach that feels emotionally manageable.
However, pediatricians also emphasize that sleep training is not necessary for every baby.
If your baby sleeps well while rocking, co-sleeping, or nursing, don’t feel pressured to sleep train just because others are.
Related Reading: What I Wish I Knew Before Starting Sleep Training (Don’t Make My Mistakes!)
What Psychologists Say About Sleep Training
Some child psychologists worry about how attachment develops and the effects of early stress.
They are concerned that crying for a long time, especially in a strict way, might signal that the caregiver is not being responsive. It could shape how a child forms trust and emotional regulation later on.
That said, many psychologists also support responsive parenting. It includes sleep training when it’s done with compassion, flexibility, and attention to the child’s emotional signals.
The focus shouldn’t just be on whether you do it, but on how you support your baby through it.
When to Avoid Sleep Training
There are certain times when sleep training may do more harm than good:
- If your baby is under 4 months old. Newborns are not developmentally ready to self-soothe.
- If your baby is sick, teething, or going through a regression. These are times they may need more comfort.
- If you or your partner is feeling emotionally overwhelmed. Sleep training can feel like an impossible task without the right support.
- If your baby has medical or developmental concerns. Always check with your pediatrician before starting any program.
- If your gut is telling you it’s not the right time. You know your baby best.
Related Reading: How I Got My Baby to Sleep Without Crying It Out
So… Is Sleep Training Bad?
The truth is: it depends.
For some families, it’s a helpful tool that brings more rest and better mental health. For others, it feels too harsh or emotionally unsettling.
What’s most important is that you feel confident, aware, and connected to your baby throughout the process.
If a method doesn’t sit well with you, it’s okay to skip it. There are other gentle, connection-based ways to help your baby sleep better, of course, with time, patience, and love.
Mama, You’re Doing Amazing
Whether you sleep train, co-sleep, or rock your baby for hours, you’re doing what you believe is best for your child. That kind of love and effort is exactly what makes you an amazing mom.
Don’t let outside pressure drown out your intuition.
If you’re still figuring out which sleep approach is best, check out this guide:
It breaks down each method gently so you can find what works with your parenting style. Not against it.